if i can run in heels then i can drive
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
23 Bosses Confess The Craziest Thing They’ve Seen An Employee Do
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
19 People Confess What It’s Like To Have Sex With Someone That Is Transitioning
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
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