They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
Randomize
