Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Randomize
