I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
Drake has all the answers