He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
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