Dude. I just woke up without a shirt or bra on. Apparently I fell asleep with a quesadilla in my mouth. I can feel my liver hating me.
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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