You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize
