You're a womanizer and a bitch.
I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
