Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
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New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
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Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?