No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
So much Jack, so little girl.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize