How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
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So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
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Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
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