Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
it was like his penis was on wheels.
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
21 Guys Share Their Insane Stripper Stories
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
27 Reasons Why Men Need To Moan More During Sex
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.