wat bout pragnant strippers??
I should be sponsored by Trojan
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
Randomize
