Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Randomize
