Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
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sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
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He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
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