the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
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