I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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