Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
Randomize
