we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
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