Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
Why can't burritos get me drunk
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
Randomize
