I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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