office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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