are you still at the devil's house?
areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
Nicole vs. Life
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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