We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
Randomize
