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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
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