No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Randomize
