lets start a swedish sibling band together
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Randomize
