Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Randomize
