and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
where are my pants?
in the oven.
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