it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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