i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Randomize
