If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
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