We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Randomize
