I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
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