She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
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