we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Randomize
