wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
Randomize
