So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
Randomize