Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
Randomize
