I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
Randomize
