just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
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