I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
do herpes really smell.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
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