worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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