a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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