Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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