dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
