His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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