the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
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