I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
