Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
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