We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
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