I think I just saw someone hide a body.
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Randomize
