I cockslap morals
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
