We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Randomize
