Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Randomize
