i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
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