it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
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