No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize
