just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
Randomize
