He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
