So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
Randomize
