He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
You can't motorboat a personality
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Randomize
