Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
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