im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
