i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
Randomize
