pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Randomize
