Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Randomize
