Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
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