I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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