I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
Randomize
