Define "chronic" masturbator.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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