You're a womanizer and a bitch.
I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
Randomize
