Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
