of course. lets lasso hookers.
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
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